Inheritance Adoptions

Legacy of an Adopted Child

2011-08-24T11:10:00.002-05:00

LEGACY OF AN ADOPTED CHILD

Once there were two women who never knew each other
One you do not remember, the other you call Mother
Two different lives shaped to make you one
One became your guiding star, the other became your sun
The first one gave you life, and the second taught you to live it
The first gave you a need for love, the second was there to give it
One gave you a nationality, the other gave you a name
One gave you a talent, the other gave you aim
One gave you emotions, the other calmed your fears
One saw your first sweet smile, the other dried you tears
One made an adoption plan, that was all that she could do
The other prayed for a child, and God led her straight to you.

Now, which of these two women, Are you the product of?
Both, my darling, Both, Just two different types of love.
---- Unknown

Letter from a Birthmom

2011-06-28T13:12:00.000-05:00

I'll give you just a little background on this blog first! This is a letter from a birthmother who placed a couple of years ago. She had a rough life and was on a downward spiral of destruction. Before she got pregnant she committed a crime that would warrant prison time. The sentence was held off do to a high risk pregnancy, but a few months after she had her little boy she went to prison. She has been there over a year and has over a year go to. I have been corresponding through mail with her the whole time, and send her bible studies often. I like to send her bible studies from Beth Moore. Beth has a background similar to this birthmom so I like for her to see that you CAN live a godly life. She has completed Beth Moore's Breaking Free study and she just started reading Beth Moore's So Long Insecurity book. This book really touched me and even while I read this book on my own I thought of this birthmom often. I knew that one day I had to get this for her. So I had it sent to her and she has been reading it. This is the letter I got from her last week:

Oh my where to even start? :) Thanks or the pictures and the blog. WOW is the main thing on my mind. Honesty time - When I first got the book I said to myself... "Self.. I am going to read it, but it really doesn't apply to me!" HA! Really... I said that :) Funny thing is I think I really meant it! Then I began to read... 2 chapters in and I'm seeing MYSELF on EVERY page and I'm SO not loving it! So of course I begin trying to rationalize, justify, and of course deny. I get mad at the book, threatened to throw it away. My husband probably thinks I'm completely insane because I start writing all kinds of does this sound like me letters! Me? Insecure? This is ME we are talking about here!! I have made SOME progress I'm done with the rationalizing and denying. I have also gone back and reread, marked, and made notes all in it. I'm a little over 1/2 way done. I am a fast reader but have to keep going back to make myself be honest and really answer truthfully. I got to the prayer yesterday and it has takin me 2 days to complete it. In tears I pray this, because I really really want this for me! The whole prayer is awesome, but oh Misty, page 172 second chapter - I KNOW she was talking specifically about me when she says, "Help me to resign my position as a game player and manipulator without resigning myself to a life of misuse!" I want that!! I am so tired of, "playing the game" of scheming and lying and I really want my life to be different when I come home. I am determined to make it so. But that old me tells myself that if I'm not "playing the game" I will be the one getting played. Crazy how satan knows my weakness and uses it so well! I sometimes wonder why it can't be for me like I have heard so many people say, "when I hit bottom I prayed and God took the desire away". BS! I pray and I pray and I still struggle so much, so I begin to wonder am I just too bad or too far gone to really change? But I know that's the devil trying to make me think it's too late to change. So I ask you this... If I know this, why do I still think it? Not all the time, but enough to worry about! Ok friend I'm done tripping for today! I love the book, I hate the book, but it is so awesome!! Thanks again!

New subject... he (little boy) is SO big and he looks so happy and healthy! I look at him and think to myself that I may have messed up so much other stuff, but I did one thing right in choosing to give him to them (the adoptive couple). Honestly after being sober for this long, married to a stable "square" man I questioned myself if I knew then what I do now... I mean that I was going to get married and would be able to provide a home etc. Would I still have done it? Then I look at this picture and I know he is exactly where he was meant to be because God chose his parents way before he was ever formed in me!

I love getting her letters because she has changed SOOOOOOOO much since I first met her! I love that I'm about to be there for women like this who just need SOMEONE to give them a chance, or maybe just another chance. Please join us in praying for this birthmom. She is trying so hard to over come A LOT. It's going to be a struggle when she gets out for sure. It's always good to get reassuring letters like this about the adoption as well. I'm so glad she has peace about it and feels this way! I believe in her so much and have confidence that she will do just fine!

Misty

Let Go and Let God

2011-06-22T14:58:00.000-05:00

We have this testimonial on our webpage and our facebook page, but I think its worthy of a blog post too! This was an adoption from a little over 2 years ago, but it's a beautiful story of adoption! ENJOY!
Inheritance Adoptions Staff

Dear Prospective Parents,

As I take a deep breath, and try to put words on paper about our story of adoption, I wonder if I can do it justice. Our story begins like many others. We had dreams and aspirations when we first got married. Jim and I got married in 2005, and because we are an older couple we started to work on getting pregnant right away. Six months traveled by at the speed of light. We told ourselves "we will not be fanatics about it, it is not like I am going to start taking my temperature every morning." Right! After 6 months of trying and not succeeding I started taking my temperature every morning to try and pin down exactly when I was ovulating. Just before our first anniversary we tried invitro-fertilization. The doctors implanted 2 eggs and two weeks later we learned our fate...it was unsuccessful. We were ill prepared for how devastating that was going to be. I was depressed for months. I did not want to try to get pregnant for a long time, but deep down I wanted God to reward me for giving my life over to Him and by "rewarding" I meant getting pregnant. Because of the stress of the unsuccessful invitro, Jim and I had a rough time in our marriage. This is not uncommon among infertile couples. We ended up being so frustrated that we started taking out the frustration on each other. Your spouse becomes your personal punching bag for the lack of control you feel. Yes, we all know that God is in control, but I believe that many women of infertile couples ask God "why did you make me a woman who desires to be a mother if you are not going to grant me that joy?"

Jim and I continued to let month after month go by while silently hoping that we would become pregnant but we didn't want to talk to each other about it. It was our elephant in the room. Every "time of the month" would come and I would experience great heartache. So many nights I spent crying into my pillow. After a year passed we started to dialogue about children. We spoke with our infertility specialists and agreed that we would do an IUI (inter-uterine insemination). This is a procedure that is, compared to IVF, a breeze. We went on to complete and fail four IUI procedures. Again, I would ask God "Why?"

In April of 2008 I ran into a woman whom I have known since I was a child. I do not specifically keep in touch with her; however, we see each other maybe once a year at someone's gathering. She and I were talking and she said to me "you have really been on my heart lately, I was wondering if I could pray with you?" Now, if someone wants to pray with me I am down with that and frankly, can't wait. She called the prayer a soaking prayer. I told her about everything that was happening in my marriage and also our failed attempts at trying to conceive a child. We then prayed and she felt the Holy Spirit tell her that Jim and I were to stop using science to have a child and that the Lord was almost chuckling at our feeble attempts. She said that I was to trust Him that it was to happen all in His timing. As if I haven't heard that before? However, I left that soaking prayer refreshed in His Spirit. After that meeting we stopped all "trying" including all fertility specialists help.

God has such a sense of humor sometimes. He had me in His hand the whole time. When I let go and let God, EVERYTHING started to fall into place! The very next month my mom was informed of this awesome adoption agency right in her hometown of Wichita Falls. Jim and I had been talking about the possibility of adoption for a year. Although, when we first began talking about it, we had the feeling "adoption was not really us and we will most likely get pregnant..." But as the days turned into months and months turned into years, it became more and more evident that adoption was our answer to becoming parents. It was coming to fruition. I then went to the website of Inheritance Adoptions and downloaded the application. The application is 35 pages long and it took me 6 weeks to fill it out. In July of 2008 we made our first trip to Texas to attend meet with the agency.

We were in a meeting with two other couples. Someone once said to me, "Infertility is like a special club. Unless your infertile, you can't grasp the feeling of desperation. The heartache can not be compared. The endless questions to your Father. Other people may empathize but that is as far as it goes." So when we were in our meeting with these two other couples, their stories were the same. Their tears were tears we had shed, and more that we shed together.

We spent the day much like an orientation. We all briefly got to know one another, we were schooled on the agency, we met birth mothers, and adoptive couples who shared their experiences respectfully. We left with so much more information and it was really wonderful to be encouraged in the direction of adoption. We learned that Inheritance is a ministry and doing God's work and we were humbled and glad to be a part of that. We were instructed that if we wanted to continue on then there were steps we needed to take.

When we arrived back in Florida, we just continued on with our lives. We created our profile book and sent it to the agency. We were informed that it could take anywhere from 6 months to a year to have a placement. For the first time in a long time Jim and I felt freedom. Freedom of resting in God's arms, feeling that we were in sync with His divine plan for us. We did not "wait by the phone", we did not purchase things for a nursery, we did not worry and fret about when the Lord was going to bring us our child through adoption. It was wonderful to just be still and know that He is God and if adoption was how He was choosing for us to be parents, we would patiently wait.

In November of 2008 Leslie called me in the middle of me cooking dinner. Honestly, I had not plugged the agency's number into my phone so when she said "Hi, it's Leslie" it took me about 10 seconds to figure out who she was. "OH YES, of course, Leslie!" Fortunately, she was actually happy I didn't remember right away. She told me of a young girl who was interested in meeting us. We then went on to set up a phone interview. The phone interview made both my husband and I nervous and our birthmom was nervous as well. We enjoyed the phone interview and then went on to set a time to fly to Texas to meet with the young girl. In an already overbooked and busy December, we were able to squeeze in a weekend trip to Texas. It was one of the most important trips of our lives.

Facilitated by the agency, we went with Misty and met our birthmom and her extended family for what was their Christmas gathering. She was a doll! Her parents and family were overwhelmingly gracious to us. We were relieved and elated that she had chosen us to be the parents of her baby. Her precious baby was coming very soon...the very next month. Almost in disbelief, but quite giddy at the wonderful news that we were going to parents to a new baby in January, we traveled back to Florida in a complete blur. Jim and I could not stop buzzing about our new addition to our family.

Kym and Elizabeth at the match meeting!

We spent the next 3 weeks celebrating the birth of our King, New Year's, and the fact that a new baby was on its way into our family. Our birthmom's name was Kym. She gave me her cell phone number and we fast became texting buddies. We chatted everyday about anything and everything. It was evident that we were going to love her, not solely on the fact that she was going to be the birthmom to our baby, but love her for who she is as a person. She is a good girl, who has a heart for God; is respectful and mindful of other people's feelings...we just adored her!

January 22, 2009 was the due date of our child to be born. Kym and I lovingly refer to the baby as "ours," because she is. Our baby was born on her due date. Kym graciously allowed me to be in the delivery room, cut the baby's cord, and be the first person to hold our baby. I was honored to watch Kym labor over the birth of our child. She was so strong and so sweet. No yelling at people like you see in the movies. She was nothing short of awesome. When we went to the nursery with our baby, we looked outside the windows and so many of Kym's family were there looking in, smiling, laughing, crying and taking pictures---I felt like they were the paparazzi! We soon named our baby Reese and she was PRECIOUS from the moment she was born. We are SO IN LOVE with her. Tying it all together, was that Reese was born in January which means she was conceived in April, the exact month I had that soaking prayer with my friend.

Kym allowed us the wonderful experience of keeping the baby in our room at the hospital. Reese has been in our arms from the moment she was born, thanks to our birthmom Kym. Kym texted me the night Reese was born to find out room we were staying in. I answered her back stating our room number and that we would see her first thing in the morning. I also told her that I was so proud of her. She worked so hard and did such a fantastic job delivering our baby. She texted me back saying, "Thank you but I did it all for you." I was so touched by her heartfelt words.

The next few days in the hospital were wonderful. I didn't really know what I was doing with our newborn, so the nurses and the doctor were great at giving me tips and assuring me that everything I was doing and witnessing with this great, little but big miracle in my arms was normal. Kym and I frequently visited each other's hospital rooms like girls at summer camp. I carted the baby down to see her in her room and she came to see me in mine. Kym was surrounded by her family. They played a key part in supporting Kym in her adoption decision. She was only 15 years old when she gave birth to Reese. She was mature enough to know that she was too young to care properly for a child at the time. She made the best decision for her, and in doing so she made the best decision for us, as well. We had prayed and prayed to be parents to a child. God answered our prayers by giving us our child who was born of another woman.

We had to stay in the hospital with baby Reese longer than Kym. The doctor wanted to keep an eye on Reese. Kym gave birth on Thursday and left on Saturday. We did not leave until Sunday when Reese was cleared with a clean bill of health. I must tell you that I experienced great grief when Kym left that day. She left with her family, all 18 of them, I swear...and I just could not stop crying. Kym had given me the greatest gift and then ...she left. It was a weird experience. I had a daughter now. I could not conceive a child but now thanks to this young girl, I had one. Kym had no idea the wonder of what she had done for me. I could not conceive and carry my own child, and yet this incredibly brave young girl gave birth for me. It was an unbelievably humbling experience.

I spoke with Leslie that night who assured me that the depression I felt was normal. I will be forever connected to this young woman who gave birth to my child. I then waited by my phone. I waited until Kym would text me. I felt like she was my boyfriend. I couldn't wait to hear from her everyday and would get quite giddy when I did hear from her.
I spent two weeks in Texas at my mom's house with our newborn baby. Kym came by to visit and even stayed over night once. We took turns holding the baby, taking a million pictures of the baby, even watched a few movies.

Kym and Reese visiting!

We continue to keep in touch even now 6 months later but it is not as often. She is free to call, text, or email anytime. I will gladly send her pictures via cell phone anytime she asks and even send cute pictures of our baby even when she doesn't ask...how could I not share this precious cuteness?

For Mother's Day we sent her flowers and we got a sweet card from her. I pray that God is watching over Kym and that she makes it into the military to become a nurse once she graduates high school. My prayers for her mirror my prayers for our daughter. That
God would be the center in her life, that she may dream big, marry a Godly man, and have as many children as God desires for her.

Kym, Elizabeth, and Reese visiting Summer 2010

I hope this letter gives all waiting Moms and Dads encouragement in the adoption process. God has chosen us to be special parents. God decides the heartbeat of a child. He has picked another birthmom to house that heartbeat, until the child is born. He then chooses you to be their forever parents. A perfect privilege. Now ask yourselves, "How AWESOME is that?"

Love in Christ,
Elizabeth and Jim

Adoption by the Numbers: Part 1

2011-06-17T16:21:00.000-05:00

Last week we received this book in the mail....

to most people this looks like a very boring book. It looks like a huge textbook from college to tell you the truth. HOWEVER, this is 550 pages of the latest adoption statistics, data, and research. I LOVE this stuff. I'm a huge nerd and will talk about things in here forever if Leslie, Judy, and Kelsey would let me. I haven't been able to read as much of it as I want to, but when I have a free minute or two I read a few articles. I thought I would break down some of the big stuff for you guys. Some of this is interesting and some of it I just like what they're saying!

Adoption By the Numbers - Paul Placek

The latest data for this was 2007. .

Unrelated domestic adoptions of infants in 2007:

1982 - 17,602

1986 - 24,589

1992 - 26,672

1996 - 23,537

2002 - 22,291

2007 - 18,078

In 2007 there were 76,489 unrelated domestic adoptions (infant and older children).

56.2% of these were through government funded public agencies

26.5% through private agencies (like Inheritance)

17.3% private individuals (private adoption without an agency)

The numbers show a steady increase in Private agency adoptions and a steady decrease in independent adoptions. It should be noted that in several states independent adoptions are illegal so that could play a roll in the decline. Since I am a Birth Parent Counselor the main problem I have with independent adoptions is the lack of counseling. Most states require a certain amount of counseling prior to placement. Some states do not specify if this counselor must be knowledgeable and educated on adoption though. Since I have walked through many adoptions with girls I can ASSURE you they ALL need someone knowledgeable about adoption walking through this with them. At Inheritance we pride ourselves on putting the birth mom first. We want HER needs to be met. We go to training to figure out better ways of helping them cope. I often times see birth moms who placed through an independent adoption and they have many unresolved issues. This does not mean that everyone who goes through a private agency will come out with zero grief. Zero grief will never happen, and I would never tell that to one of my birth moms. I feel like just preparing them to the best of our abilities and being there does wonders though.

The National Council for Adoption uses ratios to show the relative sizes of two quantities:

In 2007...

there were 279.4 abortions for every 1,000 live births, or about 28 abortions for every 100 live births.
only 15 infant adoptions per 1,000 abortions.
4.2 domestic infant adoptions per 1,000 live births.... which boils down to less than .5% of live births ending in adoption.
10.3 adoptions per 1,000 nonmarital live births in 2007, down from 18.7 in 1996. This ratio of infant adoptions per 1,000 nonmarital live births is a better yardstick, because unmarried women are more likely to choose adoption for their babies, and this ratio indicates infant adoptions in relation to the frequency of nonmarital life births. This also indicates that about 1% of unmarried mothers chose adoption for their infants, and over 99% parented the baby.

There are many more numbers to get to... I will save them for next week!! The brain can only process so many numbers at once! Thank you National Council for Adoption for all of the great data!

Misty

Follow Me!

2011-06-02T21:54:00.000-05:00

Until a few months ago I couldn't have cared less about Twitter. I didn't understand what the hype was and figured it would fade away. HAHA yeah right! I decided to look into it (for career purposes of course ha) and I'm not going to lie... I'm pretty addicted! It's so much more than telling people where you are and what you're doing. I use it personally to keep up with the latest news, weather, events, causes that I care about, and get inspirational messages from my favorite people like Beth Moore, Max Lucado, and Rick Warren. Using Twitter for your business takes it to the next level though.

No matter what your career is, it's important to always be informed of the latest trends, research, and changes in your line of work. For Inheritance it is crucial that we are informed of changes in what we do. We need to know the latest changes in the world of Adoption so that we can provide the best services possible. Think about technology and social media 4 years ago. Now think about how far its come to today. Now think about the possibilities of what it will be like in 4 more years. Twitter is changing the way non-profits and businesses run.

What we can do with Twitter:

Learn the latest research in adoption. In the past research has been out of date by the time it gets to everyone it needs to go to. With Twitter you can receive research instantly! No more searching and searching for the latest. The latest IS on Twitter.
Be informed of pending legislation in the House or Senate the day it happens.
See what other agencies are doing and see if the trends we are seeing are what others are seeing as well.
Hear what adoption professionals, adoptive parents, birth parents, adoptees, lawyers, and others close to the adoption community are saying/thinking.
Connect with professionals all over the WORLD and get our name and message out.

There are many other advantages to twitter, but those are the big things! If you are interested in a cause, or even just a hobby you should check out Twitter. If you're new to Twitter click here to read Twitter 101!

Happy Tweeting!!

Don't forget to follow us..... @InheritanceWFTX

Letter to Mom and Dad

2011-04-01T13:35:00.000-05:00

I have changed the names in this, but it was posted on someones Facebook and she allowed us to share this. Her son is 26 years old and they adopted him. This is a letter her and her husband received from him. I thought i was worth sharing!

For all our friends who have adopted or considering adoption....Our son posted this today. He just met 2 of his biological siblings that we just found out about. He has already met twin sisters, and there is one more brother out there. We love him so much and are so glad he is our son.

Mom & Dad,

After yesterday being such a crazy day I just felt it approriate to say I love you guys. You guys have done so much for me that I can't say thank you enough. You took me in as a baby when nobody loved me. You took care of me when u didn't have to. You gave me everything I could have ever wanted and every opportunity possible. You continued to love me even after I screwed up repeatedly and gave you so many reasons not to...hahahaha

I have seen what my alternative was I realize I couldn't have been blessed any more than I was by being chosen by you'll.

So I just wanted you to know that if the worst happens tomorrow or ever that I love you guys and I can't thank you enough for everything you have done for me. In the end I don't want there to be any doubt or regret that I didn't tell you I love you and thank you for everything. I love you mom and dad.

Goals for Change

2011-01-25T19:32:00.000-06:00

This was written by our friend Patricia Dischler who is a birth mom, author, and advocate for adoption. She wrote the previous blog that we posted as well. This is a major goal and dream for us at Inheritance too. Not that EVERY girl in an unplanned pregnancy would place, but that EVERY girl that faces and unplanned pregnancy would be given the facts of everything going on. Get someone who parented a child at their age to come in and talk to them, get someone who placed for adoption at their age to talk to them, present them with more facts and less opinions and let her make the decision for herself. The facts ARE NOT being given to the majority of these girls I can promise you that. Most girls put more thought and research into getting a new phone than how to handle their unplanned pregnancy. This HAS to change. Please read the article below and please take her challenge at the end to get out there and offer your story. I would love to hear feed back on how you guys feel, and what changes you think need to happen for this dream to become a reality!
Misty

Goals for Change

All goals start by dreaming. Dreaming of the world and what it would be like if something were different. Then taking those dreams, breaking them into steps for change, and making a plan to take those steps. So let’s start with the dreams!

My dreams for the world of adoption start with dreaming of a world where the children’s needs always come first. This is something that is easy to say, but is ambiguous in many ways so it’s not easy to do. As someone who was told this many times by counselors during my divorce, I fully understand how such a simple statement can be complicated. There are many circumstances where the immediate decision looks as though it’s in the best interest of the child, but the long term ramifications are not. And vice versa. Life is complicated, there are never simple answers when it comes to raising children. So let me be more specific with this dream. I dream that those considering their options in an unplanned pregnancy will consider their child’s long term needs, get all the facts, and let the big picture lead them to a decision, not the short term one.

This is my dream because I see all too often young girls making the choice to parent a child because the baby is cute, it’s sleeping a lot so can’t be too hard to handle, Grandma said she’ll do daycare while I go to school, and I get some money each month from social services too. I am not making generalizations about all young mothers, but because there are many who fit this description it’s worth discussing. This is a topic where I get tough and make a stand. While I am a major supporter of the individual journey and choice, I am also a major supporter of making choices based on facts. I also get very upset with those who hinder a girl’s decision making process by taking responsibility from her. Schools who offer daycare, Grandparents who give up being grandparents to raise grandchildren, and social systems that offer so many support programs that take on the responsibility of raising a child that a 5 year old could choose parenting. I apologize if my bluntness is shocking you, I typically keep this opinion to myself. But I have decided that if I really want to make a difference in the coming year in this field, then it’s time to make some noise and be heard.

I’ve spent some time on the blogs that discuss adoption and if you think I’m being harsh, you should visit them. There are all types of stereotypes and harsh accusations made on both sides of the adoption fence.

I am not making blanket statement here regarding whether or not a young mother should or should not parent a child. What I am saying is I have seen a gross lack of information being presented to these girls. My heart goes out to anyone that is facing a decision with only partial information to guide them.

Let me give you a specific example. In my hometown I know three girls that become pregnant in high school. There were more, but I know three of them. All three chose to parent their child. While I have spoken at a few classes at the school to share my story, for the most part the school doesn’t allow adoption presentations because they would feel forced to also allow abortion presentations. So they just don’t have anything. I have donated copies of my book, Because I Loved You, to the school and asked the counselors to recommend it. None of the 3 girls read my book. None of them ever spoke to an adoption counselor. None of them ever spoke to an adoptive parent or a birthmother. What they did get was the number of a social worker that could help them fill out the paperwork to receive assistance and money for food and clothing for the baby. They had grandparents that volunteered to do daycare. They had friends who told them when their boyfriends got jobs they would get child support. In other words, they were bombarded with people who were willing to take their responsibilities for them both financial and the physical care of the child. All they had to do was continue school like always, go home now and then to kiss the cute baby, and life would go on just fine.

For one girl, her parents let her move in and have taken care of everything. Five years later she and her boyfriend still live with the parents, both unemployed, and the parents have serious regrets and are ready to kick them out. For another, the boyfriend skipped town, Grandma quit doing daycare once she graduated high school, and she works full time at a grocery store just barely able to get by while her baby stays in an unlicensed daycare where the curriculum is a list of television shows on that day. For the last, the boyfriend married her, she graduated, and they both got jobs at a local factory. But 3 years later they divorced, and now he’s suing her for custody. She can’t afford to be on her own or pay the legal fees so she’s considering just giving up. Not a single girl had a 5 year plan, and it shows.

Now I fully realize that every young mother out there that chose to parent knows that life most certainly does change. It changes when Grandma can’t do daycare anymore, they graduated high school and can’t afford college, the boyfriend left town, and when the cute sleeping baby began walking and breaking everything they could get their hands on, like all toddlers will do. The problem is, no one told them this at the time of their decision. Again, back to my dream - if everyone facing a decision to parent or choose adoption had ALL the facts, could spend time considering ALL their options, and even talk with people who had chosen each possible path, THEN we’d be a little closer to eliminating regrets, a little closer to babies with bright futures, a little closer to girls who become women who can stand by their actions with pride and not spend a lifetime second guessing their decisions.

So, here’s where you come in. In order to make this dream come true what we need is information getting to those who need it. So if you are an adoptive parent or a birthmother, talk to the high school counselors in your area, let them know you’re there and you can talk with whoever needs someone. Volunteer to share your story in the classroom with any teacher that will let you. Talk with doctors in your area and offer the same. If you are a counselor, work with the schools to get them to open up to sharing information on adoption. Leave them your brochures, talk to a class, do whatever it takes. I’m not asking anyone to convince someone to choose adoption. I’m asking those convincing girls to parent to stop and for everyone to just share facts! Then let the girls decide what’s right for them.

You can’t make a good decision based on only half the facts. We don’t do it with unimportant decisions, why are we letting young girls do it with one of the most important decisions of their life? How would you feel if you decided to take a job in a new town you thought was great and when you arrived you found out that it was in the mountains and only 50 people lived in town? For some, this would be great! For others, you’d regret it for years. Knowing all the facts helps people make good choices they can live with.

My long term dream? A world without regrets.

Reprinted from KIDBIZ Newsletter, an ezine by child care author and speaker, Patricia Dischler. Subscribe at www.patriciadischler.com.

Hot Potato

2010-12-07T11:11:00.000-06:00

The article below is written by a birth mom. If every adoption would turn out like this I think this world would be a much better place. Get some tissues!

- - - - - - - - -

Hot Potato

- - - - - - - - -

I’ve been playing Hot Potato with my son’s adoptive parents for years now. It started in the letters, they would write “thank you” and other words of gratitude, I would respond in kind sharing my own “thank you’s” and words of gratitude. This game progressed and heightened at our first face to face meeting when Joe was 12 years old. Kathy and I embraced each other, crying and repeating “thank you, thank you, thank you” until we each realized we were saying the same thing to each other and pulled back and laughed.

It feels like Hot Potato because the moment I hear a word of gratitude from them, my instinct is to immediately divert it back to them. For in my eyes, our story is a happy one because of who they are and how they have opened their heart and family to me. I also know that their instinct is to divert it back to me. They recognize that their family would not exist had it not been for me. That we may not have grown so close, had it not been for my respect of them as Joe’s parents. And so the game continues.

Joe was married this month. He found his beautiful bride, Anne, two years ago in South Dakota, and discovered they actually lived only 20 miles from each other in Iowa! That’s fate hard at work. It’s a love story worth sharing, and their engagement even made the front page of their home town paper, it was such a good story. As the big day approached, I became more and more filled with thankfulness. I was going to be at his wedding. A thought that I didn’t even allow myself to consider all those years ago, saying goodbye in the hospital. I didn’t even allow my self to hope for it during the years we shared letters, or even after we began to meet in person.

It occurred to me on this day just how easy it would be for a mother to take for granted their role in a child’s wedding. I thought about my two daughters, both of which I have dreamed of their wedding days, with the assumptions of being a part of the day. But for Joe, nothing was assumed. Because of this I cherished every single little moment, not taking any part of it for granted.

And so the game of Hot Potato continued. At the church, just moments after I arrived to see Joe and his bride getting their picture taken with their parents, Joe and the photographer motioned for me to join them. Catch. I sat by his father, Jerry, and smiled. After the shot, I hugged Jerry and thanked him for having me there. Toss. He looked surprised and answered “But of course!” Catch. They took lots of pictures. When they took the one of Joe, his Dad, and his sister’s family, my heart burst with gratitude at the loving family he was a part of. Toss. Then they took a picture of my husband and I, Joe and Anne, and my daughters Rachel and Amanda. A family photo. Another catch.

Still stunned and breathing shallow from being included in family photos, I walked to the back of the church where two young attendants approached me, “There’s a corsage here for you,” one said as she handed me the purple flowers. Catch. I whispered a “thank you” as I tried to remember how to breathe. Toss.

People began to enter the church, including my mom, sister and her family, and two sets of my aunts and uncles. When it got close to the time to be seated, I asked Joe where he would like us to sit. “The first three rows,” he answered. “And you and Grandma should wait back here because I’m going to seat you.” Catch. He was going to walk me down the aisle, in front of all the seated guests, and put me in the front row. Now I needed something to hold on to, this was much more than I ever anticipated! I looked desperately around for Jerry, but couldn’t find him. I told my mother, and she squeezed my hand with a smile. “Okay then, we’ll wait here,” she simply said. Her confidence helped. I started to breathe a bit better. When the time came, I didn’t think about anyone in the church like I had thought I would. I was so proud of Joe, he looked so happy and handsome, all I could think about was hugging him and telling him how proud of him I was. I could also see he was a bit nervous, so half way down the aisle I whispered, “Would it help if we started to sing Zip-A-Dee-Do-Da?” He laughed and said “I think Anne would kill me!” And we made it to the front row with no blubbering tears, just big grins. I didn’t get the chance to tell Joe in that moment, but that was what my Dad had said to me the day he walked me down the aisle at my own wedding to ease my nerves. It worked, both times. (Thanks Dad!)

After being seated, and being sure my tissues were close at hand, I looked up, and finally found Jerry. Since his wife’s passing three years earlier, he had become a Deacon. He was dressed in white robes, standing next to the priest in front of the altar, and there couldn’t have been more pride on his face. I thought again how lucky it was that Joe had him for a Dad, someone who made it through a horrible time in losing Kathy and found his way closer to God and working to bring love and peace into the lives of others. Toss.

Anne came down the aisle, and took everyone’s breath away. I was surprised at how I felt much more like smiling than crying. I was just so happy for the both of them, they’re each other’s best friends, and biggest fans, with a bright future. I held it together pretty good, only a few more tears during the wedding vows, then Jerry approached the pulpit to give the eulogy. He shared how he had been cleaning out Kathy’s office over the summer, and a book had fallen out of a box of files. It fell open to a poem about marriage and commitment, and he felt Kathy was saying she had something to share. He pulled out the book and read the beautiful poem.

Next, he said “None of us would be here today if it wasn’t for Pat.” And as he began to share some of our story, and shared the gratefulness felt by both him and Kathy, I began to lose it. It was completely unexpected. Here, I had attended the wedding, just hoping for a tiny spot in the back, a chance to witness this important day in my son’s life. And instead, I was sitting front and center and now Jerry was shining the spotlight. Catch. As I started to cry, all I could think of was “No, no, no! I didn’t do anything! You and Kathy are the ones who raised Joe, you and Kathy are the ones who loved him everyday, you and Kathy are the reason I even get to be here, you and Kathy are the ones everyone here should thank!” Toss.

But as he kept talking, about our shared love for Joe, our respect for each other, and our happy ending, I did something I had never done. I didn’t toss. I let it sink in. Jerry was right, that one little moment in my life, saying goodbye to Joe and placing him in their care, lead to changing the life of every person in that room. The people Joe met, and cared about, wouldn’t have had that opportunity to know this amazing young man. Anne might not have ever found him. These families wouldn’t have become connected. It all started with a little baby, and a decision. And now, it’s lead to this moment, a church full of people, both adoptive family and birth family as one big family, and now that family is growing too as we add Anne’s family to ours. I took a moment, just a moment, and let it sink in. The decision I made was the most painful event of my life. But it was right. Anyone that took one look at Joe and Anne together, and our families together, could see, it was right. As my sister said later, “We were all right where we should be at that moment.”

So, while the game of Hot Potato will continue (I could NEVER thank Kathy and Jerry enough!), I have a new sense of peace, and a little bit of pride, in knowing that I did do something good and right at one time in my life. And thanks to the game of Hot Potato, Joe has witnessed how people show sincerity in their gratitude, over and over again. It has made him a stronger man, a compassionate one, and one who never takes love for granted. Isn’t Anne lucky?

Brought to you by:

Patricia Dischler

Author, Speaker, Child Care Professional, Birthmother

Happy Thanksgiving!

2010-11-24T12:54:00.000-06:00

We thought it would be fun to do a little list of what each of us in the office (minus Brent because he wasn't here) were thankful for when it came to the agency. We limited it to 5 which is pretty tough, but here they are!

Leslie is thankful for...
- God's blessings and provision over the agency and that we can show our Faith to everyone that comes through the agency.
- That we can advocate for children
- That we have the ability to help birth mothers improve their lives.
- The fabulous staff
- The supportive board of directors

Misty is thankful for...
-Our beautiful new office
-Wonderful involvement throughout the past few years from birth fathers and the ability to minister to them as well as birth mothers.
- People who pray for the agency
- Our wonderful intern this year Kelsey, and Karissa at the beginning of the year
- The ability to work at a Christian agency where we can freely pray and encourage all people who come through the agency.

Judy is thankful for...
-Our wonderful birth moms
-Our adoptive couples and families
-The house and the cozy homey feeling that it offers our clients.
-Our precious MSU intern - Kelsey
-The staff and board

Leigh Ann is thankful that...
- The agency has a loving, caring, honest and ethical staff.
- we have a supportive and knowledgeable board
- we provide emotional support and mentor our birth parents.
- we are allowed to openly and freely praise, worship, and witness God's love.
- we have wonderful new offices

Kelsey is thankful for...
- the openness to GOD's plan here.
- opportunity to follow the amazing Inheritance families
- the open lines of communication between the birth families and staff and adoptive couples and staff
- the new bright house
- "big blue" SUV! ;)

Because we couldn't fit it into JUST 5:

We are all VERY thankful first and for most to God. Without him none of what we do would work.
Our birth parents for trusting us to walk them through one of the most difficult times in their lives.
The adoptive couples for being great examples of Christ's love to the birth parents and for also trusting us to walk them through one of the most vulnerable and unknown times of their lives.
Our WONDERFUL offices that we have more affectionately call "home"!
OPEN ADOPTION - Without this everything we do would be different, and we wouldn't be able to see God's love through the relationships between the Adoptive Families and Birth Families.
Our donors and the people who continually pray for the agency!

We hope that you and your family have a very HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!

- The Staff and Volunteers at Inheritance Adoptions

From the mouths of Birthmoms

2010-11-24T00:50:00.000-06:00

The following is a blog from the blog birth mom HERO'S. I know a lot of people often wonder what birth moms think and feel. Having the PRIVILEGE of working with women who are going through adoption is one of the most amazing gifts i've ever been given. They teach me the meaning of love and strength. The blog is actual messages from birth moms about their adoption experience. This is as close as i can get to what i actually hear from girls.

I hope this helps you see into the minds of some birth moms.

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 17, 2010

FEELINGS ON YOUR ADOPTION EXPERIENCE

These messages were written on paper and placed in a balloon which was blown up, popped. The popper of the balloon then read the message as all the birth mothers honored the feelings shared. This activity occurred at the 3rd Annual Birthmother Retreat at Zion’s camp on September 12, 2010.

• Placement was scary, hurtful, but I’m happy that he is with a family he is loved by an event I won’t ever forget.

• Spiritually divine looking at the face of god pure grace perfection beautiful. If I could freeze time and hold this baby forever I would but I can’t , what it was all about the ultimate mother-love: sacrifice loving somebody is wanting the best for them, whether it involves you or not. Everything I had planned and worked towards and set in place and strived for: All my efforts and desires and decisions plus plans plus heaps plus dreams….were all for THIS moment

• An amazing scary lonely journey there is a little man out there that I love more than I love anything and I must trust someone else to love him as much as I do so much more than I expect.

• Placement, Bitter Sweet didn’t want to let go, but I knew it was right. Can’t deny the feelings I received when I prayed and prayed about what to do… Even though she didn’t have the perfect life I still feel for whatever reason it was she was where she suppose to be. I LOVE YOU FOREVEAR Rachel.

• I’m grateful for the openness the adoptive couple is willing to offer me. I am surprised at how emotional I still feel and the number of hard days I’ve had lately I pray for my relationship with my daughter and her adoptive parents continues to go so well and mill always able to stay to open as we did now I love and miss my daughter every day!

• Day of placement, I remember looking at her little feet my last time and hugging her and kissing her goodbye. I then placed her into the arms of Tawnia’s assistant and said goodbye one of the saddest days of my life.

• I always knew I did the right thing for him and me.

• With tears and a broken heart, I put him in her arms. I wonder if he’ll want to meet me when he’s older, or if he’ll resent me for what I did. I’m so afraid of missing his life.

• It was the hardest thing I’ve done in my life. It’s a moment in time that stays with you forever. As much as I miss her I love her more. All that I have learned and all that she has been given confirm the cause for which we stand. Through all the pain I still would have done it again God has and continues to bless me for my sacrifice. He helps my heart to heal.

• My 16 year old self thought I made the best choice for my son. I hate that my adoption was closed, I feel like it hindered my healing. I am happy to be healing now, I am happy to finally know about my son. I am happy that he has been successful and that he is original like me.  I hope to someday have a meaningful relationship with him, but am beginning to realize that is not my choice. I am trying to accept that what happens now is really up to my son. I will always love him no matter what.

• It was very bittersweet, the absolute hardest day of my life. I felt so much happiness for the adoptive couple and that they were finally able to have a baby. As I walked away I felt so EMPTY I collapsed into my dad’s arms and sobbed uncontrollably. I could NOT wait until I got to experience pregnancy and labor and deliver all over again with my own baby to take home, most of all it was the BEST and most right decision I have ever made in my life. If it weren’t for the gift of adoption I would not be who I am or where I am today.

• I am so happy that I could give her what I couldn’t. The 9 months I carried her all I wanted was to keep her but I knew there was a better place for her and I knew that at placement it wasn’t the last time I would see her. But that I had become part of her mom and dad’s family altnagon I am sad she’s not with me I know I did the right thing and that’s a great feeling.

What is National Adoption Day?

2010-11-20T22:33:00.000-06:00

November 20, 2010, will mark the 11th year for Adoption Day and for the second year in a row, Nia Vardalos will be the spokesperson for the special event. Through the help of adoption professionals, child advocates, judges, and attorneys, thousands of children in foster care will finalize adoption and become part of a permanent home and family.

The History of National Adoption Day

2000 - National Adoption Day began with the Alliance for Children's Rights and support from the Freddie Mac Foundation, the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption, and others. Hundreds of adoptions were finalized in 9 jurisdictions.

2001 - The number of jurisdictions increased to 17.

2002 - Assistance from Casey Family Services, Children's Action Network, the Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute and Target. This support brought 34 jurisdictions to National Adoption Day and 1,350 adoptions were finalized.

2003 - 3,100 adoptions were finalized and 120 jurisdictions participated in the event.

2004 - 3,400 adoptions finalized at 200 events in 37 states.

2005 - The largest number of coast-to-coast celebrations for National Adoption Day to date! More than 3,300 children's adoptions were finalized from foster care in 227 events in 45 states and the District of Columbia.

2006 - More than 250 events in all fifty statesincluding the District of Columbia and Puerto Rico! More than 3,300 adoption were finalized.

2007 - More than 300 events were held in all fifty states including the District of Columbia and Puerto Rico.

2008 - More than 4,000 children across all 50 states found loving, permanent homes.

2009 - A total of 345 Adoption Day events in all 50 states, the District of Columbia and Puerto Rico with more than 4,500 children adopted from foster care!

Each year, more and more children are being adopted on Adoption Day and the events are becoming more widespread. In total more than 30,000 children have been adopted from foster care on National Adoption Day.

Goals of Adoption Day 2010

Finalize adoptions from foster care in all 50 states
Celebrate and honor all families that adopt
Raise awareness about the 123,000 children in foster care waiting for adoption
Encourage others to adopt children from foster care
Build collaboration among local adoption agencies, courts and advocacy organizations

For More Information on Adoption Day and to Find Activities in Your Area:
National Adoption Day Web site

What Is Adoption Day? - Adoption Day Is Part of the National Adoption Month Celebration
By Carrie Craft, About.com Guide

While You're Waiting ... Preparing for Adoption Day

2010-11-17T12:00:00.000-06:00

We ran across this blog and thought we would share it with you guys...

While You're Waiting.... Preparing for Adoption Day

A few things really stick out in this article:

"The major thing that kept us going during the difficult times was our faith," says Theresa. "We knew Luca was meant to be a part of our family; we just had to trust in time it would all fall into place. And it did!"

Amen and Amen! Without faith I'm not sure how anyone gets through an adoption journey.

We are in full agreement with PREPARE, PREPARE, PREPARE. We hear, "didn't want to get our hopes up" or "didn't want to jinx it". First of all... when it's time, its time! Buying a car seat and crib won't jinx it! You have to be prepared! We can call you anytime and we expect you to be ready!

As hard as it might be while you're waiting to pack a bag and get baby gear set up. I promise you will be so glad you did! Lets just say we call you and there is a little baby, already born, in the hospital waiting for you to come for him/her! Do you really want to spend time packing a bag and getting baby stuff ready?! Just keep something handy; a couple of extra sets of clothes and some toiletries in a bag. You may not have a "surprise" call, but you'll still be glad you've got one less thing to do.

Another major preparation is packing things for the baby. Hospitals will have the diapers, formula, pacifiers, but if you have a special going home outfit, a special blanket, socks, mittens, bows!, anything like that... have that ready too. CAR SEAT!! They need it to get home... please have this ready to go!

Journaling - We are very big fans of journaling at IA. We have our birth moms journal and we think its a wonderful way to empty all of those thoughts racing through your mind and get them out on paper. We love the idea of writing a letter to the baby. What a wonderful thing to show that child one day... tangible proof that he/she was SO loved and SO wanted. We encourage our birth moms to write letters to the babies as well. It's while reading these letters that we are reminded of what unconditional love is, and we are so glad the child will always know he/she was loved by his birth mom when they write these letters.

I hope the article is helpful. The author, Sally Bacchetta also has a blog called: The Adoptive Parent.

Celebration Pictures

2010-11-09T11:01:00.001-06:00

Several of our DFW families at the DFW Celebration this past Sunday!

Two very special families! Check out their blogs Andi and Shelby!

Leslie and Misty with our of our sweet families! Love them!

More pictures to come!!!

Celebration

2010-11-07T21:50:00.000-06:00

Today we had our Celebration for the families in the Dallas - Fort Worth area. This is one of our favorite events that we have at Inheritance because it's so fun to see the kids grow up over the years! The babies that were in carriers last year were up running around this year, and there were new little babies in carriers this year that will be running around next year! I love that the families are able to get together, share adoption stories and sometimes just baby stories! It's fun to see bonds forming between families and knowing that the kids will grow up knowing each other.

As the staff we have the privilege of knowing the ends and outs of each story in the room. I think that just gives us more of an insight on how amazing our God really is. If we could've sat down and went around the room and told all the ways that God worked through each adoption we would still be there right now! As soon as we get some pictures uploaded from the event we will post them! Until then don't forget to check out several of our families blogs on the side!

Misty!

Longing for one (or two, or three...): 8 Days of ADOPTION!

2010-09-08T10:59:00.000-05:00

Follow along with the Long's on their 8 Days of Adoption!! We are honored that day one starts with Inheritance Adoptions!!

Longing for one (or two, or three...): 8 Days of ADOPTION!: "In honor of Landrie's upcoming 1st birthday and in celebration of her adoption, I'm going to attempt to do 8 CONSECUTIVE DAYS of blogging about adoption..."

Art Therapy for Grief and Loss

2010-08-05T10:47:00.000-05:00

So I'm that girl that loves to learn... I would be a full time student if someone paid me, so when everyone else hates going to conferences to get their CEU's - I LOVE IT!

I've only gone to Adoption Conference's in the past, but I wanted to break out and try some new things! A couple of weeks ago Judy and I attended a seminar called Art Therapy for Grief and Loss. Adoption brings up SO many issues of grief and loss, not only with the birth mom, but also the adoptive couple. For example, if you cannot have a child due to infertility, you need to grieve that loss. You need to come to terms with the fact that you will not have your own biological child, but that God has something different in mind. This is especially difficult for women. Growing up you just assume that you will get married, get pregnant, have kids, the end. Unfortunately, sometimes its not that simple. Many couples who come to us have tried all avenues to try and conceive. They want to know at the end of the day that they gave it everything they had. Once those attempts fail, you MUST grieve that loss in order to take the leap of faith into adoption.

On the other hand we have the birth moms who must grieve almost that same loss, but in a different way. A lot of my birth moms say that they feel a happy-sad when they place their child for adoption. They're so happy for the couple, and so happy for the child, and so happy that they were able to play a part in creating that family, BUT they're sad because they couldn't give the child that family themselves. There are so many mixed emotions, and a lot of times our birth moms are confused on their feelings, one minute their happy, the next they're sad. I can't stress enough about how important it is to work through your grief. We have to experience those negative feelings in order to get through them.

Grief is often talked about in the "stages" that you go through which are Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. Wouldn't it be nice if we just went through these stages one by one in order and were finished with our grief. HA. Not gonna happen. The thing with these stages is that you don't have to go through them in order, you might not even go through all of the stages, you may stay in a certain stage longer than another, and you may go back to a stage that you've already been through. I think that's where so many people get stuck with their grief because they feel like they're doing it "wrong" or that they're not "normal". Pamela Hayes who is the lady who facilitated our training told us of a little girl she was working with who had a live in nanny in her house from the time she was born until she was 6. This nanny was pretty much a part of the family, especially for this little girl. The nanny decided to move away and go to school when the little girl was 6. This was a huge loss for this little girl. She went to art therapy and she drew a picture of a heart with the nanny's name in it and it said, "Miss You". When the little girl and Pamela were talking about the picture, the little girl looked up and asked Pamela if she was still allowed to miss the nanny. How sad that we feel like there is a time frame on grief! Pamela quickly told her that she was most defiantly allowed to still miss her, and they rolled up the picture and mailed it to the nanny at school. Grief is a life long process, there is no end to it, BUT you can move on with your life and enjoy it! Just because you're working through your greif doesn't mean you can't enjoy your life.

CRYING:
I have always told my clients that when they don't cry (especially at the hospital), I get worried, and yesterday proved my point. Dr. William Frey is known as the Tear Doctor. He has studied tears for over 15 years. He found that emotional tears are made up of different hormones, in particular, Cortisol. These tears release these "toxins" and actually help make you feel better. Have you ever heard someone say, "I just need a good cry"? Well, they probably do! It would probably make them feel better. So go ahead, CRY! It's good for you!

I wanted to upload some images that we did, but my scanner isn't working up here at the office! I hope this gave you a little insight into grief and how big of a roll it plays in adoption though. Grief doesn't have a be a bad word. It depends on how you handle that grief whether it boils up into something bad, or if you can work through it and possible see a positive out of your grief. Let me know if you have any thoughts!! I love to hear from you guys!

Low Self-Esteem at Crisis Levels for Girls

2010-07-26T14:16:00.000-05:00

I see this SO often with the girls I work with. These insecure girls grow up to be VERY insecure and self-conscious women. Please keep an open line of communication with your kids, and encourage them daily! ~ Misty

Jim Liebelt - Senior Editor of Publications for HomeWord

A new study indicates an alarming number of girls and teens have low self-esteem, which in turn results in destructive behaviors. According to the study's findings, the key to reversing the trend has to do with parents and other adult role-models providing consistent communication, support and encouragement to the girls in their lives.

Self-esteem has become a national crisis in this country. The majority of girls (seven in ten) feel they do not measure up in some way including their looks, performance in school and relationships. Most disturbing is that girls with low self-esteem are engaging in harmful and destructive behavior that can leave a lasting imprint on their lives. These new findings come from Real Girls, Real Pressure: A National Report on the State of Self-Esteem, conducted with girls between eight and 17 and commissioned by the Dove Self-Esteem Fund.

Destructive Behaviors

An alarming number of girls are turning to destructive action when feeling insecure, and girls with low self-esteem are three times more likely to participate in dangerous behaviors during these times.

75 percent of girls with low self-esteem reported engaging in negative and potentially harmful activities, such as disordered eating, cutting, bullying, smoking or drinking, when feeling badly about themselves -- compared with 25 percent of girls with high self-esteem.
61 percent of teen girls with low self-esteem admit to talking badly about themselves. (Compared to 15 percent of girls with high self-esteem.)
25 percent of teen girls with low self-esteem resort to injuring themselves on purpose or cutting when feeling badly about themselves. (Compared to 4 percent of girls with high self-esteem.)
25 percent of teen girls with low self-esteem practice disordered eating, such as starving themselves, refusing to eat, or over-eating and throwing up, when feeling badly about themselves.(Compared to 7 percent of girls with high self-esteem.)

"Low self-esteem among girls and young women has reached a crisis level," said Dr. Ann Kearney-Cooke, Ph.D., a psychologist and self-esteem expert who collaborated on Real Girls, Real Pressure. "The new report from Dove confirms the importance of healthy self-esteem and the dangerous consequences that can arise when hang-ups about looks, academics and popularity erode a girl's sense of self-worth and self-acceptance."

Girls are also craving better communication with adult figures as they struggle with challenges in their lives. The top wish among girls is for their parents to communicate better with them, including more frequent and more open conversations, as well as discussions about what is happening in her life. However, as girls enter their teenage years there is a significant loss of trust and communication with adults, particularly when they are feeling badly about themselves.

"We cannot underestimate just how vital the words and actions of parents are in fostering positive self-esteem in girls. However, it can be challenging because adolescence is not typically a time when girls are reaching out to their parents and speaking candidly," said self-esteem expert Jess Weiner, a best-selling author and the Global Ambassador for the Dove Self-Esteem Fund. "The good news is that if parents and other role models are willing to create a steady conversation of encouragement, honesty and openness it can definitely help girls gain confidence and reach their full potential."

Source: PRNewswire

Wonderfully Made!

2010-07-26T11:13:00.001-05:00

Hello Hello!! We're having a wonderful summer around here! We have been busy busy, but most importantly we have been making huge impacts, not only on children, but birth mothers, birth fathers, and adoptive couples.

I am constantly surprised by the difference in each adoption. There's not one adoption that is the same as another. Some can be long and intense and have many bumps in the road, and some can be short, sweet, and simple. That's what makes the "leap of faith" into adoption so huge. You really don't know what you're story will be, how it will pan out, or what the ups and downs will be. You prepare yourself for any and all "snags" or "setbacks" that might arise, you read countless books, you talk to anyone and everyone that you've ever in your whole life known that has been adopted, adopted themselves, placed, or knew someone who knew someone who adopted! While these are all great things to do, and I encourage you to become educated and informed I promise not one of these things will get you the same results as just kneeling at Our Father and letting him have 100% complete control - after all he has orchestrated every single adoption and knows what will happen before you do. He knows the baby that will go home with you, he knows the situation, he knows it all! It is SO hard to give up control (believe me, I KNOW!), but I promise you will be richly blessed! I don't promise that it will be easy, or painless, but if you give it to God, I know he will bless you! Just remember that no matter what your story ends up being it's YOUR story. No one else will have one like you because it's its the story that God put together for you!

That's whats been on my mind lately and I hope you're able to see Gods desire to carry you through this process! Below is one of our newest little blessings! We thank God for her and her selfless birth parents who love her so much they gave her Life, and we congratulate the parents who rock her to sleep at night while Thanking God for such a beautiful creation!

God Bless,
Misty

Adoption Myth #1

2010-06-30T11:34:00.000-05:00

Myth #1:
Adoption is irresponsible. Since I got myself into this situation, I should be responsible for taking care of this baby.

Truth:
Yes, you are responsible for taking care of the baby. You are responsible for feeding, clothing, and providing shelter for your child. But there is more… you are responsible for providing a loving, nurturing, and emotionally secure environment. Emotional security for children is rooted in a loving relationship from his/her mother and father. If you are not in a place to meet all of these needs yourself, you can provide an adoptive family for your child who has been preparing for parenthood for a long time. Adoption is a responsible choice of caring for your baby by finding a family for him/her if you cannot provide what you feel is best right now.

Help Us Grow!

2010-06-23T09:54:00.000-05:00

So, we have a website and a Facebook page... why do we need a blog now?

Well, the short answer is we want to make an impact in all the forms of social media so we can reach anyone who may need our services, be they a couple looking to adopt or a birthmother struggling to make ends meet.

Social media is any tool like Facebook, Twitter, or Blogger that people use to connect to each other, and in order to remain successful businesses are having to adapt. At its core though, these things are primarily about communicating with one another in this rapidly changing world.

We're reaching out to our network for support! Please link to our blog and we'll in turn link to yours.

Thanks in advance - Inheritance Adoptions

Our Birth Parent Counselor

2010-06-21T12:05:00.001-05:00

Misty graduated from Midwestern State University in 2008 with her Bachelors of Art in Social Work. Before joining the IA staff in June of 2008 she completed a year long internship with Inheritance Adoptions. Her primary role with the agency is to help birth mothers obtain prenatal care and find resources that will help them during the pregnancy. She is an advocate for the birth mother to help make sure their needs are met. She provides counseling for the girls during and after the pregnancy to make sure their emotion needs are being met as well. She attends seminars annually to improve her knowledge regarding birth parent issues in adoption. Her favorite aspect of the job is watching God work every detail out in his own timing.

She is also the person who coined the phrase, "The best decisions are the most informed decisions."

Our Mission Statement

2010-06-14T12:06:00.001-05:00

Our mission is to offer birth parents an alternative to abortion, to assist birth parents in making the most loving decision for their child and to place legally adoptable children in stable Christian homes.

Inheritance Adoptions New Blog

2010-05-27T15:29:00.000-05:00

Hello!

This is the first post for our new blog. This blog will be the companion for our website, inheritanceadoptions.org - hopefully we can update this frequently and keep our families informed.

Our mission is to offer birth parents an alternative to abortion, to assist birth parents in making the most loving decision for their child and to place legally adoptable children in stable Christian homes!